Newcastle fans are fearing the worse come Sunday when they could be relegated from the Premiership for the first time in 16 years. After loosing to Fulham on Saturday the future is bleak for the Tyneside club, but luckily they've got the worlds biggest fan on their side, yes G.O.D. Who else?
Here is Rev. Glyn Evans of St.Andrews Church in Newcastle talking about his secret plan to help Newcastle survive relegation. Thanks to the Chronicle for this wonderful video.
Good Lord I can't believe we've have sunk so far! They are now asking for a holy intervention from the almighty as only a fictional God can save Newcastle football club now. As a fellow Newcastle supporter I openly encourage any tactics to try and keep Newcastle up for another year, but this is too far. Not only does God not exist, even if he did why would he listen to a priest who's changed the words of hymns about Jesus into Shearer, surely that's blasphemy. He also looks like a fool with his black and white robe, surely that's breaking some kind of archaic religious rule.
If their previous track record is anything to go by Newcastle will be relegated. This is because they sent tributes to Bobby Robson when he was manager 7 years ago, since then he was sacked, then suffered various different type of cancer. Certainly being a Newcastle fan is very similar to being religious, in the sense that you are continually given lots of false hope.
This plan is never going to work, especially as God is currently engaged re-reading the Harry Porter series. Yes that is what God is doing, I would know, as he told me last night. Well Jesus lovers, God works in mysterious ways, lets hoping keeping Newcastle up is of those ways. We can but only pray!
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