House of Common Criminals: Expenses! Expenses! Everywhere!

There are few words to describe the chaos that has ensued this past week over MP's expenses. When I started writing this blog on Tuesday there were a handful of claims, but now there are far too much to mention in one blog post, so I've tried to condense it into a managble rambling.
I knew it was a turning point in modern UK politics when I witnessed the lynch-mob style heckling of MP's on Question Time on Thursday, the like of which I have never seen before. here is a clip of some of the madness -


Over the past few months this has been coming with a freedom of information request going through the courts eariler in the year. But suddenly this week it has blown up, like a big balloon of RED paint in Parliament; Leaving MP's with RED faces and RED palms (as they have been caught RED-handed)

Resign! Resign! Resign!
The 8 days of revelations from the Telegraph has left MP's confidence utterly shattered after having their Westminster bubble burst. Since then it has descended from initial embarrassment, into fraud allegations, eventually manifesting itself into the crowd baying for the blood of the political posse.

Westminster was buzzing with MP's running around like head-less chickens clutching cheques, apologising unreservedly, calling press-conferences, backing-down and just simply hiding from the press mob.

My favorite moment of the week goes to Hazel Blears, the communities secretary and semi-professional squirrel impersonator. She was one of the first to public humiliate herself when she was caught not paying capital gains tax on her second house after selling it for a £45,000 profit (naughty squirrel). This promted her to call an emergency press conference, where she brandished her cheque to the Inland revenue paying back the £13,000 she owed.

There are a mountain of embarrassing claims, which is increasing day-by-day, so I have highlighted some of the most interesting to condense. We'll start with the Conservative MP's; New Torries, same rich bastards. Here are some of the Torriers more extravagant claims:

Oliver Letwin - claimed £2,000 to replace a leaking pipe under his tennis court!

Douglas Hogg- claimed expenses for cleaning his moat. A moat! A moat! Yes you've read correctly a bloody moat! What next for Hogg; some chain-mail, a squire. Good lord! It's not the 14th century is it? I urge the general public to lay siege to Hogg's castle and demand the money back! Bring your pillaging bags and rape sticks

David Willets - claimed £115 for replacing light bulbs. Sorry, Sorry Pardon, What? £115 for lightbulbs. I might get into the selling and fitting of lightbulbs with that kind of profit margin.

These revelations has promoted Conservative leader David 'Davey' Cameron to publish all their accounts and can be found here.

The Lib Dems were a different story, and haven't come out so bad, as their claims are more innocuous. My favorite claim came from the Lib Dems with Chris Huhne claiming for a trouser-press (£119) and Hobnobs (79p), very Alan Partridge.

The most trivial claim also came from the Lib Dems with an MP claiming 69p for paper napkins.

So far the whole debacle has fully died down yet, but so far here are the major political casualties:


Andrew MacKay = Davey C's political aid has been chucked out of the party after he claimed 2nd home allowances on both of his and his wife's (another MP) home totaling around £250k over 7 years. (tut, tut)



Elliot Morely - has been suspended from the Labour Party, after he claimed £16,000 for a mortgage that did not exsist! How foolish of you!




Shahid Malik- Resigned after Gordon Brown ordered him to step down after allegations he broke the ministerial code, after claims he had received preferable rate and not declaring it, giving him a financial benefit (naughty). He has now given in to public pressure by giving money back and give money to charity.


There is more to come with the Telegraph going through 2 million of stolen PDF files with the juicy MP expenses on so look out for more hysteria. For this debacle I believe thaty the public is partially to blame, as they wouldn't accept MP's raising their own wage to a decent level, which forced MP's to use a cowardly method of extracting more money through the expenses system.

The public are now demanding a general election to sweep away the filth out of Westminster. The main three political parties are now fearing reprisals for their foolish actions with a mass exodus at the next election. So the likelihood of a snap general election on the back of these claims is highly unlikely. Why would the government call a general election with an all time low of confidence in the system and with Labour currently polling around 22%, which is the lowest they've ever been. The Local and E.U elections are only around the corner on May 4th, and it will be very interesting to see the outcomes of that.

Here is a remix of the infamous video of Gordon Brown trying to sort out expenses before it all blew up.
See, they've made him look like he's dancing, instead of giving a boring speech.

Here is also a picture of Hazel Blears pretending she's going to ride a motorcycle.