A collection of suit-wearing delusional ego-maniacs : The Apprenctice

In this post I will be analysing the buisness-based 'reality' show, that is the Apprentice.

First and foremost I bloody love The Apprentice and find it very entertaining and this will become more evident as my words continue.

I think that there are several key elements which make the Apprentice a success, which are:

1. Sir Alan Sugar
2. The candidates and their over-inflated opinions of themselvs
   
3. The clear format
4. The tasks
5. The TV-created extra pressure
6. The theme tune (Flight of the Knights)
7. Nick and Margret
8. Brilliant editing and producing

The main star of the Apprentice is Sir Alan Sugar, the founder of Amstrad who now runs a £750m business empire. He is the programmes central focus for obvious reasons.
The Apprentice helps to serve Sugar's enlarged ego even further, by having 15 people all clambering to be his apprentice and giving him the respect he think he deserves. I always enjoy Sir Alan's "improvised" put-downs and clever puns, which he beams about like someone was gently ticking his testicles. Let's not overstate Sugar's buisness acumen as Sir Alan built his empire by focusing on costs and undercutting the comepittion and being a bit lucky with the exapnsion of the perosnal computer market in the mid-to-late 80's. So he's no Warren Buffet, so don't be fooled.

The candidates are generally a collection of suit-wearing delusional ego-maniacs, each with their own personalised mission statement rambling on about their goals and drive to the point where you want to punch them in the head. Some candidates you'll dislike others, you'll just hate with a deep bitterness. Former candidates such as Saiid, Katie Hopkins and Ruth Badger are expert examples of the screening process being designed to filter through the largest ego's and the most unpleasant personal traits. This year we've had Phil: the Geordie who's arrogance is only inferior to Sir Alan's, Ben a jumped up stock broker who constantly talks about how he is going to destroy people in the boardroom like some testosterone enduced mentalist, Kate; the business hottie who is my tip to win and Noorul the most delusional man to ever appear on the Apprentice, who has completely lost touch with reality.

To quote the lovely Nooral, who said "I have always been ambitious and driven and I've got the capabilities to deliver. I am not all talk... I can manage a team of people, total strangers even, because I am feisty and have attitude." To anyone who's actually watched the show, in "reality" Noorul is rubbish and failed to show any managerial skills, couldn't negotiate and was completely incompetent at all of the tasks. I personally think I am much more adept at business than him, and have more analytical, sales, marketing and managerial skills capabilities than he can ever hope to.

The Format: Get into teams, decide on a leader, do the task, then which ever team loses the leader has to bring back two members in to the boardroom for some boardroom drama (consisting of bitching, shouting and Sir Alan looking dismayed by all the arguing), then Sir Alan decides on which person to fire, and outcomes the catchphrase and the finger.
Tasks consist of the teams going around London and the surrounding areas doing an array of tasks such as; selling, arranging meetings, designing products, arguing with each other, cleaning, market research, presenting etc. These tasks help structure the show and are purposely designed to create a bit of drama and holes for candidates to fall into.

As The Apprentice is a TV show, for every member of the public you see and for every shop they enter they have to get their permission, which is time consuming and adds to the extra pressure on the teams. Also they have cameramen and sound technicians following theie every move, again creating pressure, which is why you see people panicking, making appalling decisions and crumbling under pressure.

Nick and Margret are the right and left-hand assistants of Sir Alan are are added bonus of the show. With Nick, a sharp-faced gentleman who seems to be conituisly galring at the canidates like he's plotting new and elaborate ways to torture them. And Marget the WI member who's shocked by anything that's mildly offensive such as partial nudity or abrupt language. Here is a video of some of their highlights from the fourth series;